okay, i admit it. a few things have been tugging at mind lately … one in particular. and it’s embarrassing to admit because it’s actually quite juvenile. matters of the heart can be quite complicated, especially if you over-analyze things, and i guess that’s what’s been distracting me lately.
as i had written earlier, i had resolved to momentarily shut off that concern. but, as most resolutions go, apparently i do not have enough will power to be consistent. i’m good for a day -- two at most – and then, just one little sign or reminder, and i’m at it again. i, voluntarily or involuntarily, subject myself to that same pattern of roller-coaster emotions, until it wears me out and i again swear to have nothing to do with it anymore. despite the uncommon degree of common sense i claim to have, i can’t pull myself out of this puzzle. i never seem to learn. it’s like high school all over again, only that the stakes are higher since i no longer have adolesence to blame for my blunders.
why is it that when it comes to other people in the same situation, i can easily propose effective solutions and courses of action? why is it that even when i’ve mapped out a seemingly fool-proof plan, i can never follow through? how is it possible that a level-headed, ordinarily street-smart person can survive the corporate world, and not be able to figure out something as juvenile as this? i’m stumped …
